We have diagnosed a disorder for the Chicago Cubs

Victory Disease.

Ever since the Cubs won the series in 1908, they have gone on to do a lot of losing, especially in the postseason, even though they had 97 wins this year. We have diagnosed their losing with this disease, even though there are questions whether Ugueth Urbina is a licensed psychologist or not. And although not every patient always have all of the specific symptoms of the diseases, we sure know the Cubs have the problem of overconfidence. They just might need to take a chill pill.

Because they are out of the playoffs, all of the fine contributors of UUIB are listening to “A Dying Cubs Fan’s Last Request” by Steve Goodman once again.

Do they still play the blues in Chicago
When baseball season rolls around
When the snow melts away,
Do the Cubbies still play
In their ivy covered burial ground
When I was a boy they were my pride and joy
But now they only bring fatigue
To the home of the brave
The land of the free
And the doormat of the National League

Sorry North Side, maybe next year guys (Apparently, we post more about the Cubs than any other team in the Majors, weird).

Go Dragons!

Nice that the town we live in gets some rep.. go Dragons! Their games are always fun. I’ve seen quite a few players come up through the Dragons, like Adam Dunn, Jay Bruce, Homer Bailey, William Bergolla, among others. I didn’t go last night, but apparently, during the brawl, there were fans trying to get onto the field, and the interim manager for Peoria was being a douche the whole time. Their normal manager, who was taking the night off? Ryne Sandberg. Julio Castillo, the pitcher who threw the pitch into the stands appeared to be jussssst a bit outside as he was aiming for the dugout. A dumb thing to do though.

Oh, and this. That sucks.

My mac’s broke

And so is Kerry Wood. This article says he visited a hand specialist. Could it possibly be the world’s greatest hand model, J.P. Prewitt? They are a different breed, you know.

(lol, David Duchovny)

Analyzing the Joe Blanton trade, and Mike Hampton tweaks groin again

Oakland gets:

2B/IF Adrian Cardenas
OF Matt Spencer
RP Josh Outman

Philly gets

SP Joe Blanton

A couple days ago, Oakland traded away their 5th starter Joe Blanton away to Philadelphia prospects 2B Adrian Cardenas, RP Josh Outman, and a throw in OF Matt Spencer.

In a couple years, if Joe Blanton stinks up the place in Philadelphia, this could be one of these trades that keeps us asking “why?” like Larry Andersen for Jeff Bagwell, among others. And there is very real chance that this could happen, because Joe Blanton is more of a flyball, and he could get lit up in that small park they have in Philadelphia. His home/road ERA splits are 4.63/5.73, and Oakland is a pitchers park as well. This could be a very bad trade for Philadelphia. But it could also be a good one, because Oakland’s defense hasn’t exactly been spectacular this year, and defensive ERA numbers suggest that the defense behind Blanton could be the problem, and with Utley, Rollins and others behind Blanton, his ERA might actually go down slightly. So it really depends on how Blanton will do, and the numbers are so variable, because some numbers predict he will do bad, and some predict he will be decent with the Phillies, which would justify this trade. The offense behind Blanton does not suggest much, for example, Eric Milton’s 2005 Reds season where he had the great offense behind him, but was completely awful, and we all know how good the Phillies offense is this year.

Also, let’s look who the Phillies gave up for Blanton. Although there are not that many players that the Phillies could have traded for, they gave up a can’t-miss prospect in Adrian Cardenas, hitting .310/.375/.447 in High-A, which also means current Oakland 2B Mark Ellis will be gone. Cardenas was going to be blocked by Chase Utley no matter what. They also gave up a pitcher with good HR/9 rates in Josh Outman, although he got moved to the bullpen after a mediocre 2007 where his HR/9 went up while starting, and the Phillies 2007 3rd Round draft pick Matt Spencer, who has not really done much in the pro level and is hitting .249 this year in High-A ball. Cardenas is the real gem here, and although he’s only in A-Ball and is as old as we are, he has hit well in every level thus far. He was the Gatorade state High School Player of the year in Florida in 2006, and he was teammates with Chris Marrero, who is in the Washington Nationals system right now, and was the the 15th overall pick in 2006. All Cardenas has done is hit (I think Cardenas will be in the Majors in 2-3 years, not 3-4 years like some are saying), and if he turns into something great, and if Outman turns into a decent pitcher (He needed a change in scenery after the Phillies moved him to the bullpen), then we all know who got the better end of the trade. Again, this could really be one of those trades where bored sportswriters could list as “one of the worst trades in the past 20 years,” but again, if Blanton turns into something slightly useful and the Phillies make the playoffs instead of running Adam Eaton out there every 5th day, it could also be a decent trade that works out for the Phillies. Really, it can go either way. I still think the Phillies may have given up too much.

Mike Hampton injury watch: Mike Hampton injured again

Apparently Mike Hampton tweaked his groin again during a rehab start. When will this end? Certainly one of the worst contracts in history. His arm felt fine though, apparently. It just sucks for Hampton, whose body keeps taking his baseball abilities as a league-average starter away from him, and ultimately, you have to feel bad for him. It’s still funny at his expense, with the frequency of his injuries.

Richie Sexson in a thong (to the Yankees)

We didn’t post anything for the All-Star Game on Thursday. Too tired. Damn, Dan Uggla had a bad night.

Anyways, looks like Richie Sexson is signing with the Yankees, as they were looking for a power right handed bat in their bench. Since Sexson will be in the eternal slump he’s been in for all of 2008, he will definitely give Jason Giambi’s gold thong a lot of mileage, and hell, he might end up owning it by the end of the season.

By the way, this new Giambi picture with fellow Yankee player Jack Daniels from Deadspin is awesome.

The All-Realistic NL Team of 2008

So we decided to make the best starters, and put the best backup players behind them. So basically, the best realistic team of 2008. For the backup and utility players, they have to be actual backups or platooners, like Augie Ojeda, or Ruben Gotay for example. No video game rosters here.

My lineup will consist of:

2 Catchers
1 First Baseman
1 First Baseman/Third Baseman
1 Second Baseman
1 Second Baseman/Shortstop
1 Third Baseman
1 Shortstops
4 Outfielders
1 Utility Player
12 pitchers, 7 RP, 5 SP

Catcher: Brian McCann – Atlanta Braves

I made a mistake when I chose Russell Martin based on him dating Alyssa Milano on one of my older articles. Brian McCann is having the better season indeed.

Home Run Derby thoughts

Another Home Run Derby has passed and Josh Hamilton made some history. Hamilton hit 28 home runs in the first round, breaking Bobby Abreu’s record of 24 in 2005. His multiple 500+ foot homers were definitely the highlight of the night. He found a way to lose to Justin Morneau in the finals though which served as one of the most anticlimactic endings since Kelly Leak got thrown out at home.

This year’s Derby was, as usual, plagued with some things that need to stop.

• Berman’s “Back, back, back!” call. This works better in a game, when home runs aren’t happening every three pitches (unless Brett Myers is pitching).
• Hamilton’s drug history. It makes a good Oprah, but he appears to have his life in order now. Let’s focus on Josh Hamilton the MVP candidate.
• Terrible camera views. ESPN gave us some views I had never seen before and don’t want to see again. Keep the camera over the pitcher’s shoulder and stop slow mo-ing everything.
• Erin Andrews’ outfit. I sound like People Magazine here but she looked like the 1800s. Still way hot though and it was funny watching Josh Hamilton try to get in her pants.
• Players looking for face time. Edinson Volquez leaving the briefcase on the plate was not funny, and David Ortiz leaving was only funny because Yankee Stadium unleashed a giant boo upon him.
• That contest before the last round.

On the bright side, we did get to witness some history with Hamilton’s performance. Perhaps the coolest part of his Derby performance was him bringing his 71-year-old high school coach to pitch to him. He did a pretty good job too. Also, no one left a goose egg on the board like Jason Bay a couple years ago.

Midseason All-Star AL Depth Chart

People like when things are ranked. Maybe that’s why High Fidelity was so appealing. No top fives here, but one big top 25 of a semi-feasible assortment of players. The goal is to assemble the best 25-man squad based on 2008 performance at the halfway mark. The best players will occupy the starting position, and notable backups will be recognized for their efforts too. Not all positions will have a backup as they can be covered by players already in backup roles. Starters are in bold.

My team consists of

• 2 C
• 1 1B
• 1 1B/3B
• 1 2B
• 1 SS
• 1 3B
• 1 IF
• 5 OF
• 1 DH
• 5 SP
• 6 RP

Catchers

1. Joe Mauer-Minnesota Twins
2. Kelly Shoppach-Cleveland Indians

Mauer is having a great season for the always in contention Twins. He is 3rd in the AL with a .322 batting average and while the power numbers haven’t been there, he has been making up for it by getting on base (.417) and great defense. Kelly Shoppach is our backup catcher. He has split time behind the plate with the now injured Victor Martinez and is hitting .248 with 7 home runs.

Another minor league meltdown

Kash Beauchamp goes off on the ump while the stadium PA bumps the greatest wrestling entrance music ever. If only they’d seen him coming earlier, they could have had the shattering glass before he stepped on the field. This whole argument looked like an homage to Stone Cold Steve Austin with the head bobbing, excessive profanity, and shaven head. All that was missing was the Zamboni and Vince McMahon.

Meltdown Timeline

:02-FUCK!
:03-Glass shatters
:06-Obligatory dirt kick
:07-Seamless transition to the shoe removal and subsequent spike
:10-I smell
:16-One second, I can’t talk with this dip in
:32-For good measure
:35-A graceful departure

Though Beauchamp definitely made an idiot of himself in this clip, it is highly unlikley that anyone will ever top this man… Sorry for the youtube overload.

Pat Burrell gets snubbed twice

I know, I sound like a weird Pat Burrell fanboy, even though I’m really not. I’m not a Phillies fan, I swear. But the guy is having the best season of his career by far (he has a 155 OPS+ plus so far, only rivalling his 2002 season where he had a 146 OPS+), and much better than Corey Hart, and although I like Hart, although the fans were wrong. David Wright, a final vote guy, and replacing Alfonso Soriano, is having a down year by his standards, and also not as good as Burrell this year, and he gets put in by the clueless Clint Hurdle, who has been bad in making an All-Star roster (Aaron Cook? Brian Wilson? Cole Hamels should have gotten in)

One could argue that the roster could use a second defensive 3B, due to the roster only having 2 third basemen, including Aramis Ramirez, who can’t play defense at all, and I think that might be why Hurdle made the move. The players deserve some of that blame due to electing Miguel Tejada, who is nowhere near an all-star. Nevertheless, this year’s NL team is certainly a weak roster, due to Clint Hurdle, the fan vote, and the player vote and it makes me care for the All-Star Game a little bit less, like every year.