Archive for April 2008

Grilli’s Gone Wild; lame factor through the roof

April 29, 2008

Detroit Tigers reliever Jason Grilli has a tee-shirt, and it is pretty lame, but a definite collectors’ item (if you’re a big Detroit middle relief fan). Being a Tiger fan, I am shocked that I had not stumbled upon this fashion gem until just now. I don’t know when this came about or why it was even developed to begin with, but he can’t be serious. Just a terrible play on words replacing the ‘Girls’ in ‘Girls Gone Wild’ with ‘Grilli’s.’ Also, his pitching arm is blurred out. So weak. But at least the Olde English D isn’t being disgraced as it was airbrushed from the design. Also available for purchase are the sunglasses with windshield wipers he wore during the 2006 ALCS celebration.

Pitifully cheesy merchandise aside, Jason Grilli has been rather good lately, following a terrible start to the 2008 season where he was booed every time he did something. His lowest point was giving up 3 ER on 3 pitches against the White Sox earlier on. However, he has gotten his ERA down to 3.29 and is working on a scoreless streak of 11.1 IP. The Tigers need him to continue pitching well because their starters have been one of the greatest disappointments in baseball this year. Tiger fans give him a lot of grief for some occasional catastrophic outings, but he’s still one of my favorites. I am a homer sometimes (but not as much as Phil) and I apologize.

UPDATE: Grilli has been traded to the Colorado Rockies. Just when he started pitching well.


Tuffy Rhodes Watch: April

April 28, 2008

This is a new monthly column by Phil that will chronicle Tuffy Rhodes’ endeavors in Nippon Pro Baseball in Japan. He is, and will always be one of our favorite players. From his three homer Opening Day in 1994 with the Chicago Cubs and many fantasy team owners getting angry later in the season when he did not produce, to tying 55 homers in 2001 with the immortal Sadaharu Oh, we will always love him.

Tuffy Rhodes is one of the few bright spots for the Orix Buffaloes (11-20) so far. Last year, mostly as a DH, he hit .291 with 42 home runs and 88 walks in one of his better seasons. With guys like Alex Ochoa, Tyrone Woods, Rick Short and Aaron Guiel leading in batting average in the Nippon Pro League, these American guys have a great chance do well. Guiel also leads the Japanese Central League in homers. This year so far, Tuffy has 10 home runs in 31 games already (out of 130 or so), leading the league. He is hitting .301/.434/.660, also among the leaders. 24 walks leads the league too. So far, another good season for Rhodes. Don’t expect him to keep up this pace, but this is good.

Other Japanese players and expatriates that I watch:

Hitoshi Tamura (Fukoka Softbank Hawks): .297/.343/.436, injured
Hiro Tanaka (Tokyo Yakult Swallows): .365/.435/.476
Ex-MLBer Lew Ford (Hanshin Tigers), off to a slow start: .180/.241/.292
AAA batting champ Rick Short (Tohoku Golden Eagles): .289/.329/.393


Yu Darvish (Nippon Ham Fighters): 0.69 ERA
Kaz Ishii (Seibu Lions): 2.16 ERA
Seth Gresinger (Youmiri Giants): 2.43 ERA

Rich Garces has a job in America again, not at Old Country Buffet

April 28, 2008

Expect less posts this week, we have final exams looming. Anyways.

El Guapo is back. And no, he’s not working at Old Country Buffet or delivering Domino’s Oreo desert pizzas to underprivileged children. He’s playing baseball in the Can-Am league, for the independent Nausha Pride. Of course I could make RICH GARCES EATS A LOT jokes all night, but I would rather post this picture.

I’m gonna drive to Nashua now.

Rich “El Guapo” Garces Returns (Oursportscentral)

“Guys Do It All The Time” (Remix) ft. Roger Clemens

April 28, 2008

Roger Clemens is not doing much to improve his Hall of Fame resume. It has been reported that Clemens had a “decade-long affair” with country singer and former hottie, Mindy McCready (my anti-drug; click the story and you’ll see an updated picture). Usually an athlete sleeping around is not a shocker, but this started when Clemens was married with two kids at 28, and McCready 15. Clemens denies the relationship was of a sexual nature, but what kind of affair would that be? Did you misremember getting it on?

Clemens’ Hall of Fame Resume

  • 354-184
  • 3.12 ERA
  • 4,672 Ks
  • 2 World Series Rings
  • 7 Cy Youngs
  • Cameo in Kingpin (classic movie)
  • PED allegations
  • Possible affair with girl aged 15 (employers hate this)

I still say that Clemens belongs in the Hall of Fame. I view him as the best pitcher in baseball history. But he is definitely not rallying many votes from the writers for his enshrinement with those last two bullet points. Gaylord Perry threw a spitter and he’s in. Technology has just replaced the saliva with a syringe. I haven’t seen Perry on To Catch a Predator though.

Report: Clemens had relationship with country star (Fox Sports)

Water sucks, Gatorade is better

April 25, 2008

According to this piece here, water is not allowed in the U.S. Cellular Field dugout now, due to Gatorade being the official sports drink of Major League Baseball, meaning no water, no Vitaminwater, no Red Bull, no other drinks in the dugout other than Gatorade, and certainly, no tobacco juice from Nick Swisher. I wonder if the rest of Major League Baseball is following this unhealthy attitude for sports marketing.

I wonder what Bobby Boucher thinks of that. He’s gonna open a whole case of whoop-ass pretty shortly on Selig here..

Don’t drink the water! (

Cliff Lee putting up Nintendo numbers

April 25, 2008

As some of our most diehard readers (no, not ourselves) may have noticed, I have not written an entry for a few weeks now. Conspicuous by my absence during the last few weeks of intensified school work, there has been a lack of entries related to the Cleveland Indians (with the exception of Joe Blow Borowski’s DL stint). In the interest of journalistic integrity, I told myself that my next entry would pertain to something else entirely unconnected to the Indians. Being a student of cultural politics, this week’s celebration of Jackie Robinson was one topic I wanted to write about. However, while I’ve been away jail-raping end of the semester exams, Cliff Lee has been jail-raping American League hitters. The numbers are staggering: 4-0, 0.28 ERA. In 31 2/3 innings, Lee has allowed 11 hits, struck out 29, walked 2, and put up a ridiculous WHIP of 0.411. Last night, Cliff Lee allowed 3 hits and struck out 9 batters in a complete game shut out of the Royals. (more…)

Harold back in TV, Big Hurt back in baseball

April 24, 2008

Everyone knows our undying love for two of our favorite black guys in baseball, Harold Reynolds, and Frank Thomas. Well, they both have jobs again.. and not illegitimate jobs like that stinkhole at Just kidding, is not bad at all. Our boy Harold though, he da man at SNY now and although he ain’t givin’ no free hugs at Boston Market no more, we still respectin’ dat. Offensive imitation aside, you can hug your television monitor next time he appears on SNY. The ESPN firing against him was bad press, as he was never told why he was fired, which sucks, because Reynolds was one of the more watchable personalities in ESPN (as well as Scott Van Pelt and.. uhh… help me here).

The Big Hurt got a job with the A’s today, where he played for in 2006 and promptly, he is now the full time DH, which means the A’s have two other DHs in their bench now in Mike Sweeney and Jack Cust, although the rest of that bench is very weak. Which is cool again, because we liked Frank Thomas in the 1990s and he still hasn’t been proven for steroid use. It hasn’t been a good year for DHs, with guys like Jose Vidro, Jim Thome, Gary Sheffield, among others slumping badly to start the season. Fair to say, we were hurtin for a squrtin of more Big Hurt here.

Cool to see him back.