Archive for the ‘Performance-Enhancing Drugs’ category

Playing hard

June 10, 2008

According to this New York Daily News article, Viagra is the latest performance-enhancing craze. That’s right, the world famous boner pill is thought to improve athletic (and its intended purpose, sexual) performance. Taking Viagra is believed to increase endurance in a couple ways; it gets oxygen throughout the body, and cancels out the negative effects steroids can have on the ability to achieve erections. It is not scientific fact that Viagra helps in the performance enhancing aspect (on the field), but studies are being performed. And as expected, Roger Clemens is named as a Viagra user. More good press for Roger.

BALCO’s Victor Conte says all of his athletes took over the counter versions of the drug. I’m guessing none of them slide head first…


No Suspensions Go

April 12, 2008

The big news of the day is that the new MLB-Players Union agreement to more testing for drugs, etc. Of course that means the existing suspensions of Jose Guillen, Jay Gibbons, etc. are eliminated. Also, no more Mitchell Report stuff either. They may have made the drug testing tougher, but this is typical MLB Players Union hardball. Shouldn’t the guys who broke the rules be punished here? It might be a little tougher policy, with more testing over the course of the season and offseason, testing for draft picks, and more tested drugs, as well as word-of-mouth suspicion, as with the case of Atlanta Braves top prospect Jordan Schafer and HGH, but the stripping of suspensions and the privatization of of the just ruins it, and makes all of us sensationalists question the hardball tactics of the Players Union and Donald Fehr once again.

Plus, no more Mitchell Reports. All of us sensationalists love those..

MLB, players union agree to more frequent drug testing (ESPN)

Puckett and Gaetti on steroids? Wh-Wh-What?

April 5, 2008

Apparently, senor statistician Bill James thinks that the 1984 Twins, specifically Gary Gaetti and Kirby Puckett, were on the juice the years after their unremarkable performances in the 1984 season, according to this well written piece from Bugs and Cranks (wonderful blog by the way), and my reaction is, “are you serious?” Steroids were not that prevalent even in the National Football League until the late 1980s, specifically 1988, where 6 percent of users tested positive for the stuff, and that is a small number of users, when, obviously, you have 94% of players testing clean, and even with fake testing procedures, that number is probably still really high, going with the assumption that more NFL players do steroids than MLB players.

To quote the blog article:

“Suggesting the possibility that the Twins’ two World Championships may have been aided by their team being among the first to discover…well, I’d better not go there. Nor will I point out that Gaetti was bald and had acne and Puckett died young.”


Canseco goes to bathroom, interrupted

April 3, 2008

Jose Canseco was cornered by MLB investigators in a bathroom at a New York book signing. These investigators are said to be paying visits to any person who knows anything about performance-enhancing drugs in baseball. Canseco’s lawyer says that he has planned another meeting with these investigators, but will probably choose a less awkward location like a Pizza Hut. In other news, Jay Gibbons will be meeting with Bud Selig and George Mitchell next bath night.

Investigators talk to Canseco in bathroom; slugger to meet with MLB again later (

C.R.E.A.M. (see Wu-Tang)

March 31, 2008

Congratulations to BALCO founder Victor Conte. His probation ended today, March 30, 2008, and he is now promoting his latest scheme, a book entitled, BALCO: The Straight Dope on Barry Bonds, Marion Jones and What We Can Do To Save Sports. The title is a mouthful and definitely needs some work, but he plans on ratting out everyone he was involved with at BALCO. Conte says he will drop some bombshells about the athletes he was involved with, as well as federal agents who worked on the investigation into the company, including one who Conte says fabricated a fake confession. We have been bombarded lately with these cash-strapped “authors” coming out with cliche tell-all books about ugly scandals, and Conte is jumping on this bandwagon. After all, legal fees do add up.

Conte on his literary motives: (

“It was not long ago when Bug Selig was claiming that baseball didn’t have a drug problem,” Conte said, according to the newspaper. “The world certainly knows now that there has been a rampant use of drugs in sport for decades. The anti-doping programs in place are still inept and this contributes to the use or lose mentality of many athletes. I will continue bring attention to the many loopholes that exist in the testing programs. Hopefully, one day athletes will be able to be clean and play on a level playing field at the same time. I see that I have the potential to make change — I can do that.” (more…)

A-Rod, Ordonez latest to be named by Canseco (updated)

March 25, 2008


It may or may not be reliable, but it’s just in time for “opening day”, new names coming out in the game of steroids. Jose, asshole or not, was right last time. This time, there are people like Magglio, Clemens, and arguable the biggest name, Alex Rodriguez. A humorist named Joe Lavin, who apparently found Jose Canseco’s new book Vindicated, released a few days too early at a bookstore sports section, has come up with a review for the book. Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. Check out the article, some good stuff.

Best quote ever:

“So A-Rod, if you’re reading this book, and if I’m not getting through to you, let’s get clear on one thing: I hate your f***ing guts.”

Damn, Canseco must have a lot of hate. But then again, A-Rod tried to sleep with Canseco’s wife. Good stuff. That sure is one hateful, awesome writing style. The book’s probable sensationalism is one market where money will be made. And the mainstream media will be all over it, again, just like the Mitchell Report. I’m pumped to watch the media go bonkers, and Alex Rodriguez will be a household name instead of “i kind of know who he is” to people who don’t watch baseball.

Griffey’s still safe though.

UPDATE: This.. from deadspin. Scanned for beauty.

Jose Canseco Reviewed: With Spoilers (Joe Lavin via Deadspin)