Kaz Matsui Might Need a Deux-Deux-Deux

Reading Chicago Cubs center fielder Felix Pie’s injury on his twisted testicle made my balls hurt a little, to be honest with you, and there have been a lot of other weird injuries in this spring training as well, like the Astros’ Hunter Pence running through glass windows, not knowing that glass exists, and the Tigers’ Jordan Tata punching a door. But this one takes the urinal cake. Kaz Matsui is out due to anal fissures, also known as hemorrhoids. According to the article:

“Astros second baseman Kaz Matsui will fly to Houston tonight to meet with a specialist concerning an ongoing problem with hemorrhoids.

Matsui, who went 3-for-3 in Saturday’s loss to the Washington Nationals, was removed from the lineup in a Feb. 29 game because of hemorrhoids.”

Maybe a Kaz should be the new slang term for taking a you know what with extra force that it tears..

“I need to take a Kaz, I’ll be right back..”

ASTROS NOTES: Matsui seeks treatment for hemorrhoids (Houston Chronicle)

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